Why do people play practical jokes?

People with low self-esteem often appreciate seeing others placed at a disadvantage. Somehow they feel better about themselves, thinking that they alone know what’s happening. This is a form of passive-aggressive bullying with only one desired outcome: to make someone feel inferior. Funny? Not really.

How to change the pattern:

– If we’re the one playing the practical jokes, our self-esteem may need some positive boosting. Visit my website and do the self-esteem exercises in Section 9: http://goo.gl/BdFz1W

– If we’re often the butt of practical jokes, we may have a victim mentality. Visit my website to learn a new form of meditation to discover the root cause of it: http://goo.gl/1aN9mh

Why do people withhold their approval?

It doesn’t matter how good a job we do – some people will never let us know that they like or approve of our efforts. There is always a comment to let us know we didn’t do quite well enough. While they may like to think that they’re helping us to become better, the behaviour can actually undermine any desire we might have to improve, since we know that they’ll really never be happy no matter what we do. For these people, nothing they experience ever meets – nor can ever meet – their expectations or desires

Spiritual effects of the pattern

Living in a nearly constant state of unhappiness, disappointment and frustration, always wondering why no one ever does anything right – except for them of course. For those on the receiving end of this behaviour, there can be very low self-esteem and chronic under-performance, along with a constant feeling of inferiority

How to change the pattern

If we’re doing it, STOP! We’re hurting others, but more importantly, we’re hurting ourselves. Meditate to learn the real reason for our perfectionism

If it’s being done to us, STOP! What can we stop? We can change our need to receive the approval of others. Far better to do our best, without expectation of thanks or recognition from others. Meditate to learn the real reason for needing the approval of others in order to function

Visit my website to learn a new form of meditation: http://www.ourspiritualnutrition.com/is03.html#Our_Spiritual_Nutrition

What is the “cold shoulder”?

This is the withholding of communication as a punishment for a wrong-doing. It occurs as a result of our judgment (you did something I didn’t like), criticism (it was a mistake) and condemnation (your punishment is that I will not talk to you for an unspecified length of time). It is a passive-aggressive form of bullying. It is a punishment for their having gone against our will, and the hope is to manipulate the wrongdoer into begging forgiveness and never again daring to make that mistake again (that is, taking control). Unfortunately it serves only to continue a negative pattern, with nothing ever changing

How to change the pattern

If we’re doing it, STOP! Only communication can resolve differences, and only communication can lead to growth and understanding. Refusing to speak freezes a relationship and can create ill will with the party being punished

If it’s being done to us, STOP! Responding in the same old way gives them what they want, which is for us to be under their control, unquestioning

Visit my website and do the self-esteem exercises in Section 9: http://www.ourspiritualnutrition.com/is09.htm#Self-esteem